|Jealousy|

Are we guilty of wrongly assuming the perfection of others lives? 
I know I am. 

I recently had a discussion with someone and we got on to the topic of how I always felt that she had the perfect life because she is skinnier than I am and prettier than I am. She told me that she doesn't have it all together and that she has insecurities which is always hard for me to believe.

If I see a very slim girl talk about having body issues, I practically scoff at the fact because it just doesn't compute as to how you can be slim... i.e, have the desired body type in the media... and not like your body! 

We see these images in the media every day of slim and perfected models advertising all sorts of products. It can make you feel like a fake, like you're not real. We feel that we should be like those girls in the magazines or on the TV. I see a lot of people say that the women in the magazines aren't real but truthfully they are. Yes, they are photoshopped to re high heavens but Cara Delevegine really is a slim woman. There is no denying that fact. These fashion houses want their women skinny so they can be coat hangers for their clothes. They want the women to drown in their fabric. 

Also, health and fitness has become a trend in recent years. We are surrounded by it and personally I find it all quite irritating. I absolutely loathe exercise with a passion. I feel it triggers something psychologically but anywhow, my loathing for exercise will always outweigh my desire to be thin. 

I have always been incredibly insecure ever since I was seven years old. I used to see prettier girls than I was at the shopping centre and to make myself feel better I would walk behind them until they turned around. It was sad but it made me feel worth something. I remember being in primary school and some of my teachers were sat around a table cutting things and I asked Mrs Crabtree why I wasn't pretty like the other girls. Her response was that when I grew up, all of the pretty girls would be ugly and I would be the pretty one. 

Now, about to turn twenty one in a few months, I don't feel any prettier nor do I believe that any of the prettier girls became ugly. I still feel as insecure now just as I did back when I was seven. When this will change, I'm not really sure. 







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